Replenish my Empty

It was a warm June day when I fell to my knees in utter desperation. Everything that was solid in my marriage and family was crumbling before my eyes. I didn't see it coming until it was a bulldozer making a beeline for my joy. I had many questions: how are we going to pay our bills? What kind of work should I do? How is this going to impact my son heading to the military, my daughter going to college, 2 high schoolers, and one middle school child? It was a mess.

In my emptiness, I prayed, "I got nothing God." No ideas of what to do next. Since there wasn't anything else to pray, I stood up and heard in my heart, "When you need it, I will provide it." At that moment, my oldest daughter came down the stairs and asked me how she was going to college.

Thirteen years later, that same daughter is now an ER doctor working on her Critical Care Fellowship. In addition, the other four adult children are working their careers as a software engineer, mental health counselor, cardiology ICU nurse, and an academic athletic advisor. God is good. If there was one main prayer during the roller coaster ride of divorce and single motherhood, it was "God please take care of my children." And He did take care of us.

Yet, it wasn't always easy. There were more valleys of emptiness than mountain top experiences. I leaned heavily on the Spirit of God to fill my emptiness with hope for a brighter future.

God specializes in replenishing our empty when we turn to Him more than anything else. It's tempting to get the "quick fix" of comforts outside of God's will. Yet these temptations have a short span and bring a lot of unwanted baggage.

In the testing of my faith, I prayed Philippians 4:4-8 often. Not because I felt like rejoicing in my trials, but I found my fullness in the presence of Jesus Christ and in the comfort of His word. Only God could truly fill my empty spaces with joy.